What are effective ways to deal with sibling rivalry and arguments between my kids?
In our house “rivalry” is often a polite word for what goes on! It can be exhausting, but handling it effectively is crucial.
Our Strategies for Sibling Harmony
- Don’t Always Intervene: We let them try to work it out if it’s just minor bickering. We step in for physical or truly hurtful words.
- Example: For small squabbles, we give them a few minutes to resolve it themselves.
- Separate and Regroup: When tensions are high, a physical break helps them cool off.
- Example: We send them to separate rooms for a few minutes, then talk when calm.
- Validate Both Sides: Focus on their feelings without taking sides.
- Example: “I hear you’re upset because [this happened], and I hear you’re upset because [that happened].” Then we guide them to solutions.
- Emphasize Teamwork: Create situations where they have to cooperate.
- Example: Family game nights or giving them a joint “mission” like setting up a fort.
- One-on-One Time: Individual attention reduces their need to compete for it.
- Example: A quick chat with my oldest, or an ice cream trip with my youngest.
- Avoid Comparisons: Never pit them against each other.
- Example: We focus on their individual strengths, not who’s “better.”
It’s messy and ongoing, but we constantly reinforce that while arguments happen, they’re still brothers, and family is paramount. What kind of arguments are you seeing most?